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@Illuminati actually can't, she's female, didn't notice until I saw her mood was low because Tim rejected her advances.

And one more thing about biochips, I've crafted an awful quality muffalo muscles implant just so you can see the difference. I implanted it on a prisoner
who's been the Ediot's guest since the first year (she got a .303 to her spine and was tied to bed). As you can see, it barely adds anything, but it did fix her spine, and she can finally leave.
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The Ediots had an arctic fox manhunter pack followed by a waster raiding party show up, and wiped them out.

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all but one

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when her buddies went down she proceded to gtfo through the side entrance while being poured upon from every Ediot's barrel without even slowing down. That's when the Ediots realized she's wearing a marine armor, a 2nd tier power armor. "Let her go" said Commissar Heidi, "but do you see now how right I was when I told you we are lagging behind in the arms race?"
The waster was allowed to leave, but she didn't get far

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While the armor did protect her neck to toes, she only had a simple steel helmet, and while the shotgun pellets didn't penetrate it, the concussive force did, damaging her brain, which she felt to the fullest when the cheap drug in her system wore off. She was thrown into prison, and stripped of her armor, which Balls claimed for himself.

The colony wealth kept growing, and reached 150K, when the Ediots received an offer

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Another toxic fallout

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This time however, the Ediots had a full pantry, and could wait it out.

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but there was no animal feed, so a caravan with Balls and all the animals was organized, and was sent out of the Nobody Cares, to trade with other settlements and forage in non-polluted areas.

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After the caravan had departed, the Ediots faced a tribal raid after rejecting a payment demand

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and an epidemic

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and then some mechanoids

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HE rounds are damn good, if you like repearing your walls all the time

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While uranium melee weapons really need a replacement

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The caravan was ambushed by... a single genie. Balls beanbagged him and took his lunch

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By this time the toxic fallout settled down, and the caravan headed back. The animals managed to filter out most of the crap from their system on the way, unlike the wildlife that stayed back

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The empire asked for a favor

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and it was accepted, the reward was simply too good to pass up

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Tim called Lurk the V word

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and the muffalo mamaries were implanted onto a prisoner

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another day, another raid

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they were all cut down, but one

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Sugar was outside of the walls and that last remaining cunt ran her down. Tjhe Ediots didn't burry her, she took Lurk's old place in the freezer, but something better needs to be built to ensure that power outages cause minimum damage.
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The scyter survived, along with another one, and was brought into the fort. Because ordinary melee weapons and beanbags can't damage them, so they can be used for practice. And because I am relly bitter and pissed.

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Based on year four, you can guess what happened next

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There are no riots in Rimworld, but this came close, considering that all these happened nearly simultaneously. There were little grievances that Commissar Heidi neglected to resolve because they weren't really a big deal. But little by little, the pile of discontent grew, and Sugarbomb's death was the molotov that landed on its top.

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Anarchy reigned, and the commissar was tempted to abandon the colony and take the Ediots somewhere where they can start anew, and live simpler and more fulfilling lives, away from all this marble and corruption. But mama Heidi didn't raise no quitters.

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"There must be something I can give them to ease these trying times for them. Think, Heidi, think!"
But all the narcotics were sold, and go juice was precious and needed
and then it hit him

THE FOOD

Ediot's usual diet are simple meals either common or vegeterian

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But a skilled colony chef can prepare lavish feasts

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and Heidi had 3 at his disposal: Tim, Lurk, and himself. If he can carefully balance the stick of beanbag shells and the carrot of lavish meals, maybe order can be restored, and unlike year 4, when starvation was one of the huge problems, the pantry was full this time

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and it seemed as though it was working

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Commissar Heidi could finally take a deep breath and relax































































...or could he?

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The commissar led a raid on a Yttakin mining site to take those that were afflicted the worst away from the drone, to satisfy ideological demands, and to secure the prisoners.

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But the universe wasn't done with him and the Ediots

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Nothing like some good ol' fashion justice to raise the spirits

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Eeeeeehhh.... but eventually it all went back to normal, and Balls, the worst afflicted, was sent out on a month long caravan, and that plus the stick and carrot were probably the most contributing factor. All in all, the troubles of year 6 were more volatile than that of year 4, but lasted much shorter, and the Ediots reached the start of the year 7.
 
Year 7 opened up with a mechanoid siege

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they've blasted their way through the walls and the Ediots rushed to plug the breach

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and Lurk's new blade performed wonderfully

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After that, there came a half a year of unusual peace and quiet, leaving the Ediots with the uneasy feeling that they are only left alone while someone out there is choosing the right grit of a sandpaper condom to fuck them with.

Here's some art, since DIAF arrived the colony finally has a dedicated artist.

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There was a new birth in the colony, and little Hand Banana now has a sister. The 7 people you see on the top are from a hospitality quest the colony accepted.

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Sometimes a wild animal self-tames and joins the colony. Usually it's not a cause for a concern, except when it's one of these, their health tab should always be checked

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Fucking knew it. Sold off to a passing caravan, hope they know a good boomalope cardiologist.

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At the end of the summer, the peace and quiet ended

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The ship was surrounded by a pack of footsoldiers, and this was not a problem that could have been faced behind the walls. The guests are still here, and if 13 Ediots can be managed with a lot of difficulty, after a while the drone will intensify, and the colony will become a tight cage for 18 very angry people (minus the two colonists deaf to psychic attacks who laughed in hussar). On the 3rd day of the drone, when the intensity went from low to medium, the colony's genie gunsmith presented the Ediots with a high quality long range sollution

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It was given to the colony's best sharpshooter. The go juice was injected, the bipod was set up, the HE rounds loaded.

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When the last shot turned the ship into a pile of scrap, the blessed silence finally came to the minds of the Ediots.

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The footsoldiers gave chase and Tim narrowly avoided being swarmed

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The Ediots could now face the assault from the safety of their fortifications

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but as soon as they took positions, a mechanoid cluster with a mortar landed behind their backs. And not dormant, either. The Ediots had less than a minute before the mortar shells started raining.

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The strategy was quickly devised. A couple of shots at the power cells could easily trigger a chain reaction that would wipe out the whole damn thing, but the shield generator prevented this, and it had to be taken out first.

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A two man team, Lurk and Yiff In Hell, were sent to try and take this threat out while the rest of the Ediots stop the psychic ship's entourage

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The first mortar shell reached the colony, and while it didn't hit anything of value, it struck too close for comfort

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The smoke granades neutralized the turrets, and Lurk took out the shield generator. When this happened, footsoldiers landed in transport pods

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but went for the colony insted of Lurk, leaving him unbothered as he bashed the mortar until he triggered an explosion from which he barely escaped

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The last turret was handled

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and the last of the footsoldiers scrapped, and the Ediots could rest

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until two days later when wasters in transport pods raided their fridge and little Hand Banana got shot to the face with a shotgun

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the wasters were routed and captured.

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Now, when Sugarbombs got killed, the first thing I did was to install implants in HB when he was just a baby in the crib, one of them being 'thrumbo skin', a more powerfull armor implant than the muffalo skin I was planning for the Ediots. I was at first disappointed, "only +2?" but seeing how that and a simple child helmet enabled him to walk away from a shotgun blast to the face with just a nosebleed, I am now pretty satisfied.

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@Heidi the girl , your child reached the age of 7


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or maybe the newborn?
good god what a genetic mess.

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So, a halfwaster or a baseliner. Soon genetic labs will be constructed, and baseliners are more easily customized.
 
Year 7 ended with a defoliator ship landing near the colony and starting to slowly spread a radius of pollution around it, that destroyed every plant on the map

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Tim picked 'em all off

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Year 8 started:

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A group of Yttakin arrived, to build mortars and pound the colony. Tim eliminatedthe mortar crews, the rest proceeded to charge into Ediots' crossfire.

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Another mortar cluster landed, and Tim kept being a busy bee with a .50bmg

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and then another, this one with a climate adjuster that lowered the temperature by -10, which the Edits wanted to leave alone until the winter, as it was making the current 41 degree summer quite pleasant.

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Still, the Ediots constructed their first mortars.

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The Cluster wasn't dormant for long. It soon activated and the turrets and footies started taking aim at both Ediots and caravans. An imperial caravan maybe could have handled it, but it had a shield.

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The morning after that, the Ediots used their mortars, which didn't penetrate the shield, but did provoke the footies into attacking the colony. Once they were taken care of, Lurk played a game of rabbit with the turrets until they spent their ammo, and then scrapped them, but left the adjuster alone

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Naturally, "and then another mechanoid cluster landed". They are too close to the colony for mortars, guess Tim will have to snipe again.

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Oh and I almost forgot, little baseliner baby was born in the prison, and immediatelly set up with an armor implant.

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Wrap up of year 8:

sent snipers with a backup to deal with the cluster. But the footies didn't go for them, but for the colony, where only 3 people were left. Had to race back, leaving Lurk, Tim and Agent to take out the turrets.

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the tesseron was the biggest threat, but this time the Ediots had the shock lance to incapacitate it.

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After that the footsoldiers managed to get in range and pellet minto, but she had enough armor to go without a scratch

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score one for the Ediots, who after that accepted a quest for 2 resurrector serums, went out to exterminate a swarm of rats, destroy a psychic suppressor, and celebrate surviving their 8th year on Pentimus

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Year 9

A quest was accepted in exchange for techprints that will allow the Ediots to research the 3rd tier of the power armor, the cataphract

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The Ediots actually didn't do anything, as the contingent of the Imperial janissaries that was supposed to be their backup did all the work, plus helped the Ediots clear out the trees and some other work around the colony before they left

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After that an impid raid showed up, but were wiped out. When they were already on the run, a military contingent from an alied faction came to the Ediots' assistance, to ensure they have even more unnecessary work cleaning up the corpses.

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The Ediots attacked and plundered a waster cocoa farm, and made off with their chocolate

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At long last a genetic lab was built in the colony

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this is the extractor, it extracts a random gene from a person (hyperaggressive in this case),

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which is then deposited into the gene banks connected to a gene assembler

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here's the Ediot's current selection, some bought from caravans and some extracted from the prisoners:

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when the Ediots collect a big enough genetic library, they'll be able to modify themselves and improve their chances of survival on Pentimus, and of reaching their goal.


At the end of the first month, a well equiped waster raid appeared intent on breaching the walls. It was the worst possible moment. The FBIAgent was currently trapped in the gene extractor, and Lumi was far from the colony, bringing back a shuttle crash survivor.

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The defense plan was simple, wait in front of the breach point, and then pour everything when the wall goes down. But the gap was too big, and all of the wasters now rushed inside the walls, and Lurk, who was the closest to the breach and managed to decapitate one of the assailants, found himself in front of a firing squad

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The firing squad now faced the outnumbered and outgunned Ediots, and the only thing that saved them was deploying a portable energy shield, and using an insanity lance to turn two attackers against their friends

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But the shield didn't last long. The intense firefight left many of wasters and all but 3 Ediots bleeding out on the ground. The surviving raiders kidnapped Helios and Balls and took them in an unknown direction.

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Lumi, minty and HB finally managed to bring down a raider in a power armor. Lumi tried to save little Demonic, but she bled out. Tim came to his senses, patched himself up, and then started triaging the other Ediots

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HB collapsed on the ground and started bleeding to death, and minty moved in to patch him up. She was about done when this hussar son of a bitch attacked her, while trying to kidnap HB. He knocked her out, but being on the ground at least made her a smaller target for stray shots, and Tim perforated the fucker

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The survivors were in a bad shape, and had to be put on drugs just to stand on their feet, help their comrades, put out the fires and not break.

Yoshi went penguin. No one tried to stop him, and no one was in any condition to try even if they did. The day ended with 3 Ediots less. Would have been 5 if it werent for the resurrector serum which brought back Lurk and Demonic.

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A psychic pulser, an emergency countermeasure that was supposed to help with the effects of psychic drones, was used just to give everyone the strenght to make it to the end of the day.

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There was rebuilding and apart from a couple of smaller raids (a female neanderthal was captured and recruited in one), the year went by peacefully until the autumn. No shields, no footies yet, easy pickings for Lurk.

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The Ediots accepted a joiner, a 3yo Ben

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he made it to the colony with the Yttakin on his tail.

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a .303 found his lung just as the doors were closing behind him, and he died on the Ediot's doorstep

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one of the Yttakin raiders brought a doomsday launcher, but they were routed before the Ediots got to test their luck

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Demonic reached the first growth phase, but it had nothing to offer (the phase was incomplete due to spending 2 days in a resurrection comma, so less choices)

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Another cluster

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3 hours later, one more

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Tim was sent out as a forward observer to direct the mortar fire, and anything left was disabled by his sniping

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Near the end of the year, a Yttakin mortar raid arrived.

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They were wiped out before they could setup the mortars, but they had .50 snipers, and one of them blew DIAFs head off. She was burried next to Demonic. Current Ediot head count: 11.

4 days until year 9 is over, and I'm itching to abandon Nobody Cares and find a new place to live in a shack and have Ediots farm for a year in relative peace while the map is being scanned for underground wealth
 

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