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Newfag
Ppl tell me to relax all the time. I am fucking relaxed! I drink a lot of coffee, it calms my brain, but when it doesn't? Ppl told me to take a bath. A fucking bath! Who has time for that?
I usually hit the shower, wash my hair and brush my teeth at the same time while watching my feet get the autowash treatment. Fuck it, I’m not stupid. I follow advice, I can do it!
Bathtub filled with water fucking takes ages, but it looks/smells nice. I like. Let's get into this bitch. Pants off, shirt off, ignoring the reflection in the mirror so I don't feel worse than I already do. I get in with my right foot, eager to fucking relax.
THIS STUPID motherfuckingUCKER SON OF A BITCH IS SCORCHING HOT!
I almost slip pulling my foot out, and in my mind, I saw myself hitting the edge of the toilet, relaxing forever. I put cold water into the sucker, but the bathtub is already full. I have to reach in while it's scorching hot. There was a chain on the plug, but that rusted away long ago: now I know why u need that stupid waste of metal.
After a while fighting with it with my dong dangling, I got it out! I’m such an awesome guy, man, u should have seen me. I let cold water run over my arm, then reached in like a cat getting that sucker outta there. A genius super-athlete with superhuman reflexes.
The water runs out, and I need a cigarette after all this shit. I leave the room for ONE SECOND to get a smoke, and you know what? That fucking bathtub drained completely empty.
So there I sat on the toilet seat, my dry balls sticking to it while smoking, watching the bubbles slowly dissipate.
"Take a bath," they said. "It will calm you down," they said.
Fuck whoever said that.
I usually hit the shower, wash my hair and brush my teeth at the same time while watching my feet get the autowash treatment. Fuck it, I’m not stupid. I follow advice, I can do it!
Bathtub filled with water fucking takes ages, but it looks/smells nice. I like. Let's get into this bitch. Pants off, shirt off, ignoring the reflection in the mirror so I don't feel worse than I already do. I get in with my right foot, eager to fucking relax.
THIS STUPID motherfuckingUCKER SON OF A BITCH IS SCORCHING HOT!
I almost slip pulling my foot out, and in my mind, I saw myself hitting the edge of the toilet, relaxing forever. I put cold water into the sucker, but the bathtub is already full. I have to reach in while it's scorching hot. There was a chain on the plug, but that rusted away long ago: now I know why u need that stupid waste of metal.
After a while fighting with it with my dong dangling, I got it out! I’m such an awesome guy, man, u should have seen me. I let cold water run over my arm, then reached in like a cat getting that sucker outta there. A genius super-athlete with superhuman reflexes.
The water runs out, and I need a cigarette after all this shit. I leave the room for ONE SECOND to get a smoke, and you know what? That fucking bathtub drained completely empty.
So there I sat on the toilet seat, my dry balls sticking to it while smoking, watching the bubbles slowly dissipate.
"Take a bath," they said. "It will calm you down," they said.
Fuck whoever said that.
