Doctor Steve's Office

Steve

Steve

Dramacrat
Perma-Rag NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN Pokémon Trainer
have this one too Miku
one badge coming right up boss
First patient is @konrad: He came in earlier today to steal needles for his heroin addiction but I convinced him to come in for a checkup, he spent 30 minutes stimming with lines he stole from old tiktoks and by the time it was time to check inside his ears he just started mewing and showing off his jawline, he also insisted on showing me pictures of his bisexual cat. After checking Konrad's medical records it turns out he was injected with around 15 vaccines shortly after birth and its probably where he contracted his autism from. I diagnose him with a severe case of ZoomZoom Brainrot and he was prescribed some Jewish lobotomizing medicine to help him cool down.
 
@Illuminati checked in for an appointment moments ago, he was claiming to be extremely drowsy and irritable at all waking hours so I asked if he ever went to his Amazon wage cage to cool off and he said he just played on the ping pong table in the break room during his 5 minute work breaks between packing boxes, he was going to conference with me more about his stressors at Amazon but one of their managers broke into my office and nabbed him by the ankles and he was clawing and yelling something about "not wanting to go back". I prescribed him to take a few days off and play Elder Scrolls 3 Morrowind in the meantime. Unfortunately he doesn't get health insurance from work and he tried to pay me with rule 34 images of the pokemon "salazzle" which I was forced to decline, a bill that will put him in generational debt was sent to his residence.
 
tasuviyo said:
Hello Doctor Steve, I believe I have a hemorrhoid, can you please help me? As a homosexual my anus is a crucial component of my day to day life!!
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What kind of operation do you think I'm running here? You can see the OBGYN doctor that's down the hall if you want anal support, I would also recommend stop sticking things up your butt because I could see the shit falling out of your anus when you were walking into my office. If you would like to get bug tested I can run those exams for you and tell you what you've probably spread to the last 10 men you've slept with, ok?
 
Dildo Baggins said:
@Steve I need refills on my Prep because even tjo the ladt time i got laid was December, you never know ;)
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Hey I said one message ago that I'm not a fag doctor but I'll order 200 anti-hiv tablets from the pharmacy for you because I get paid regardless. go enjoy your gloryhole sesh with @tasuviyo.
chuj said:
View attachment 30043doctor i am depressed
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I'm not a psychiatrist but its crystal clear you're missing your homeland of Estonia, I know a fine lady would would be willing to lodge you over there too so I can get you a date with her shortly and you can spend a month on the Baltic with your disabled wife.
Maniac200688 said:
Doctor I am canadian and my country is retarded and I cant work enough . There is no production were I used to work so I am fucked. Dr.Steve help me become unfucked.
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You're Canadian? Well I have your medicine right here sir!
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Steve said:
@Illuminati checked in for an appointment moments ago, he was claiming to be extremely drowsy and irritable at all waking hours so I asked if he ever went to his Amazon wage cage to cool off and he said he just played on the ping pong table in the break room during his 5 minute work breaks between packing boxes, he was going to conference with me more about his stressors at Amazon but one of their managers broke into my office and nabbed him by the ankles and he was clawing and yelling something about "not wanting to go back". I prescribed him to take a few days off and play Elder Scrolls 3 Morrowind in the meantime. Unfortunately he doesn't get health insurance from work and he tried to pay me with rule 34 images of the pokemon "salazzle" which I was forced to decline, a bill that will put him in generational debt was sent to his residence.
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I'm going to kill you.
 
Steve said:
First patient is @konrad: He came in earlier today to steal needles for his heroin addiction but I convinced him to come in for a checkup, he spent 30 minutes stimming with lines he stole from old tiktoks and by the time it was time to check inside his ears he just started mewing and showing off his jawline, he also insisted on showing me pictures of his bisexual cat. After checking Konrad's medical records it turns out he was injected with around 15 vaccines shortly after birth and its probably where he contracted his autism from. I diagnose him with a severe case of ZoomZoom Brainrot and he was prescribed some Jewish lobotomizing medicine to help him cool down.
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amazing service, i was scheduled for a follow-up appointment as soon as i decide not to spend all my money on drugs
 
Around noon today @Baka checked into my office with a terrible gash in her arm she got while flipping clothes on facebook marketplace, she really should've went to the emergency room but I figure Pennsylvanians don't know their lefts from rights so it is what it is. I asked how she got it and she said her cat scratched her really good but she stopped acting like she was hurt for a while and started ranting to me about the Chinese and how pit pulls are psychotic and I had to stop listening after a while because I had other clients who needed my attention more than this catty bitch so I had to ask her to shush for a second so I could disinfect her and staple her arm shut which ended up taking around 30 seconds total. I bandaged her arm and told her to see me again in 2 weeks so I can take the staples out, and also to spay her degenerate cat.
Illuminati said:
I'm going to kill you.
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You came to me first and foremost so I could fix you up and now you wanna kill me? You better not be working today because you have your Morrowind to play or else you're never gonna get better, you know being tired lowers your IQ by around 20 points so that must explain why you're always so dumb, especially in my office.
chuj said:
b-but doctor....
i am gert7 :baw:
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Sorry sir but you can't see the Doctors' on behalf of other people, @Gert7 is gonna have to come in himself if he wants to be seen.
 
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