get naked, take a priapism inducing amount of viagra, open the door (but not the screen, keep that locked for 4th amendment protection because there is nothing worse then having to smash someone's foot in the door several times while they act like a cartoon and don't notice until their foot swells up like a balloon) then start thrusting vigorously in each feds direction for several minutes without making any threats and maintaining eye contact, then close the door and start whispering "Isle of Yew" through the ring doorbell until they go away.