EVIL KOREAN 8
Lurker
My Experience with Women and Society.
Technically, I guess I've already talked to women.
They're not mythological creatures, are they?
It's just that… things never happen the way other people imagine them.
Even as kids, we notice certain things, even if no one explains them to us.
Some guys get a girl's smile naturally.
Others get asked questions. They keep the conversation going even if they're talking nonsense.
And then there's me.
You say something normal…
and, strangely, it sounds like you're the worst human being. I'm a 17-year-old guy with severe acne and a long nose like a Jew's.
Women, at first glance, think I'm
Either too abrupt.
Or too weird.
Sometimes, it's not even a direct rejection.
It's worse when they're nice.
Because you can tell when someone is talking to you to make fun of you.
And when they're talking to you out of politeness, it's just to fill their mouths with mockery and hatred.
You can see it in their eyes.
In the way they look around when they reply.
In the way they hold their phones.
In the way the conversation ends before it even begins.
Once, I spent ages trying to say a simple "hello."
I repeated it over and over.
And when I finally said it, I felt like I was apologizing for existing.
I didn't even say it wrong.
Nothing really happened.
I think that sums up a lot of things pretty well.
There isn't always tragedy.
Sometimes, there's just emptiness.
Like we're just a blurry piece of the landscape.
We also learn that if we're socially awkward, every mistake weighs more heavily.
If we say something weird, it sounds weird.
If someone else says it, it sounds funny.
I guess some people are born with the gift of finding their place without bothering anyone.
I've never understood it.
I don't hate women.
I struggle to understand how others can so easily enter their world without seeming suspicious, tense, or out of place.
Sometimes, it's not even fear of rejection.
It's exhaustion.
Because even before you speak, you're already mentally replaying how things ended the last time.
And it shows.
People say,
"Just be yourself."
As if that weren't precisely the problem.
Technically, I guess I've already talked to women.
They're not mythological creatures, are they?
It's just that… things never happen the way other people imagine them.
Even as kids, we notice certain things, even if no one explains them to us.
Some guys get a girl's smile naturally.
Others get asked questions. They keep the conversation going even if they're talking nonsense.
And then there's me.
You say something normal…
and, strangely, it sounds like you're the worst human being. I'm a 17-year-old guy with severe acne and a long nose like a Jew's.
Women, at first glance, think I'm
Either too abrupt.
Or too weird.
Sometimes, it's not even a direct rejection.
It's worse when they're nice.
Because you can tell when someone is talking to you to make fun of you.
And when they're talking to you out of politeness, it's just to fill their mouths with mockery and hatred.
You can see it in their eyes.
In the way they look around when they reply.
In the way they hold their phones.
In the way the conversation ends before it even begins.
Once, I spent ages trying to say a simple "hello."
I repeated it over and over.
And when I finally said it, I felt like I was apologizing for existing.
I didn't even say it wrong.
Nothing really happened.
I think that sums up a lot of things pretty well.
There isn't always tragedy.
Sometimes, there's just emptiness.
Like we're just a blurry piece of the landscape.
We also learn that if we're socially awkward, every mistake weighs more heavily.
If we say something weird, it sounds weird.
If someone else says it, it sounds funny.
I guess some people are born with the gift of finding their place without bothering anyone.
I've never understood it.
I don't hate women.
I struggle to understand how others can so easily enter their world without seeming suspicious, tense, or out of place.
Sometimes, it's not even fear of rejection.
It's exhaustion.
Because even before you speak, you're already mentally replaying how things ended the last time.
And it shows.
People say,
"Just be yourself."
As if that weren't precisely the problem.
