Do you want to funk?

Because good enough isn't good enough.
 
I don't know how to react to that.

I guess I should treat almost dying for the umpteenth time with more dignity or whatever.

Very apropos that @blindmute decides to respond when the forces in control tried to make me mute tonight.

That was a very close call. Don't tell anyone, ok? They don't need to know that this body almost failed. Again.
 
Yes, I am still getting delayed reactions on some of my ratings to see if I actually comprehend what I am actually rating and there is a 50/50 chance right now that I gave the correct reaction. Its the effort that counted in my book. I still love you all.

I would like a lion reaction. But that is asking too much.
 
I mean mission impossible. I'm listening to survivorman while reading, watching videos, doing ketamine, and trying to react to things that my brain is trying to process.

At least I'm trying to make it so that I can always be alert for everything no matter the chaos around me.
 
Bonnie is telling me to go to sleep. She's confused and trying to signal me in every way possible. Now I am just being an asshole if I continue tonight.
 
I'm sorry to you all. It isn't very often that I cry during a homily, but I did today because it was so poignant. So, get ready for Schizo Homily #8 (I think that is what we are on).
 
You just don't like the fact that I nearly did actually kill myself last night.

You don't want to see this happen again. You just wish I would stop challenging the world that will never back down from me and continue to tear me apart and wither me away.

You don't want me to sacrifice myself to some cause that you see as fruitless but I see as absolutely necessary.

And YOU don't want the others to be infected by my thoughts and my words.
 
Schizo Homily #8 - This may be the last one
You may not like this. I don't either. I'm not going to bore you with the actual scriptures.
It was about the disciples trying to fish but failing, then Jesus telling them to cast the net at the end of the night to the right, but nobody knew it was him.

Then, he asked Simon Peter 3 times whether or not he loved him. A clear sign of something not being right. Almost to an offensive level. And he said, "Feed my sheep".

Well, that is exactly what I am doing. You can put that avatar up there all you would like. I know the truth. The truth is that I am the very lion that you pretend that I am not. I used that metaphor because I get the Premier League lion every time I make a point that someone out there likes in the Windows 11 icon. Something that I'm sure will not happen in the future now.

I am not going to stop. Just because you see me some way doesn't mean that I am not the vision that you see me as.

Somehow you all think that Jesus was sacrificed and that is the end of the story, like more people don't need to sacrifice themselves to this cruel world to make a very specific point. The point that while you think you are guiding this world in the right direction, you are killing its soul while you are doing so.

Constantly torturing me with MORE MORE MORE because I refuse to back down only reinforces my point. The point that this world is still fatally flawed and you think that YOU KNOW BEST.

The more I press you, the more I learn and try to teach others. That is all.
 
I am specifically sorry to certain people that do not want to see me go down this path. To those bridges that I have permanently burned.

I'll log out for now and leave you alone once again so you can have your fun.
 
And no, I'm not mentally ill. That is only cover for you to protect the sheep that are questioning what I have written.
 
I am genuinely interested to see where this story goes.

How many times are "they" going to fuck with the narrative.

How many times are "they" either going to lie to me outright or manipulate everything.

Like the business cards that are claimed to be put on windshields only to be taken away immediately by someone else who finds this funny.

How many times "they" are going to schedule court date appearances only for the phone calls that one side is making to get snuffed out by "the technology gods" that are finding this funny.

How many times "they" are going to interfere because they want what THEY SEE IS THE RIGHT THING IN ALL OF THIS.

How many times this will get twisted into getting me to try to actually sacrifice myself for this world.

One of these times I will actually die because of this. I hope you all are thoroughly happy when that day comes.
 
Because one thing is absolutely for sure. I am right in principle about what I am fighting for AND I NO LONGER CARE ABOUT MY LIFE.
 
At least you took the time to read all of that garbage and give me this tag and restrict me again.

That alone shows that you somewhat care about all of this. Go ahead and have your version of fun again.
 
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