Need help & feedback with first article (Clavicular)

[sphalerite]

Hello, Ediots.

I have been working for some (not that much) time on an article about Clavicular (Braden Eric Peters) since one is wanted. Since this is my first ever written ED article, the implications are clear. I need feedback and possibly even help making it bigger and better. Please excuse my potential inability to be good at this immediately; writing is a lot harder than reading. I appreciate any feedback whether constructive or destructive. Kthx.
Yes, I know it is a mediocre stub in its current state, that's why I want help & feedback instead of it to be moved.
You can find the page here: https://edramatica.com/User:Sphalerite/Sandbox

Kindest of regards to everyone.

 

[Stoic Sigma]

Its looking good.

I dont know if you'd want to include these, but I watched these videos about YouTubers trolling him and thought it was kinda funny.

 

[sphalerite]

Its looking good.

I dont know if you'd want to include these, but I watched these videos about YouTubers trolling him and thought it was kinda funny.

Of course, any videos concerning him would probably be nice to add. Thanks.

 

[NiggaryanOsaka]

You mentioned teh "ræping an innocent bystander with his low-polygon car", and this was livestreamed. You may add the livestream.

 

[sphalerite]

You mentioned teh "ræping an innocent bystander with his low-polygon car", and this was livestreamed. You may add the livestream.


View attachment 61964

Added. Any of you can make general improvement edits without asking me. (Hopefully) this will be moved into an actual page later anyway.

 

[NiggaryanOsaka]

Any of you can make general improvement edits without asking me.

That would be no problem if i had an account lmfao

 

[sphalerite]

That would be no problem if i had an account lmfao

Understandable, but DMing a sysop will probably get you one within a few days. It's not difficult because otherwise there wouldn't be any shitty TCC and attack.