So, I can tell you, from direct experience, the following things about weed:
1) The majority of what is said in this video is true for me. I started smoking weed at 14 years old. I was smoking regularly at 16 years old and habitually by 17. Besides a one year gap, from which I started to drink alcohol habitually, I smoked continuously for 17 years straight, culminating in an ounce a week habit by 2014. Being forced to quit because of "job related" aspects of existence means that I've experienced the direct effects of weed withdrawal. The "terrifyingly real life nightmares" is absolutely one of the worst symptoms of this withdrawal and makes you not want to go to bed.
I can give an example of the physical addiction symptoms. In 2012 or 2013, I cannot remember which one, I had a niece get married in Indianapolis. At this point, vape weed was not a common thing and I had not heard of it yet. I was at a point in my life where I was absolutely addicted to weed to the point where I couldn't go without it for probably about 1/2 a day at most. Making the commitment to be a good person and go to something that almost no one else from my side of the family was going to was "me having a self crisis of personality" again. I wanted to prove to others that I was indeed human and that I would be present at something because "I cared". There was a large falling out between my dad's side of the family and "our side of the family". And this was an olive branch of sorts.
However, this meant that I was not going to be able to smoke since I was going to a state where this was highly frowned upon. And yet I did it anyways. And I got caught like a little child. And I got scolded like a little child. And I wanted to leave and go home beforehand like a little child. At this point in my life, I could not imagine life without weed. It was more important that any relationship with any "human" that I could find.
I smoked in a hotel room and got caught by my little brother and his cunt of a fucking wife. They called my dad, who then scolded me, and I thought "yeah, fuck this, I'm right, people suck, the end." I ended up getting talked out of taking a bus home and went to the wedding. My godfather and godmother got to see me for once in 20 years or so. The last time is when I made a complete fool out of myself at my oldest cousin's wedding. I got the direct feeling that all of the animosity that this side of the family felt towards my side of the family was not directed at me. For me, they just felt some kind of sadness overall.
Before my grandmother's death, she had said something dementia related, but it always stuck with me. People with dementia have this "moment of clarity" where they temporarily become their selves again. She had mentioned my siblings name and wondered "where are they". Now, my sibling has their own problems and is distanced from God. It would make great sense that this was a calling to my sibling to become "attached to God" again. However, I subsequently saw several pictures of when we were little where my grandmother mislabeled my sibling and I. My mother did this all of the time as well. It would be three different names and it would usually be the third one that was correct because of autism or whatever brain function causes you to misname people multiple times. I associated that "where is this person" as a "heavenly threat" or sorts. I wasn't on the right path. Neither was my sibling. But, out of the two of us, I'm probably very much more "unique" then most "normal" people. So, this resonated with me, while it was a "whatever" response from my sibling.
2) Once your brain is able to successfully "disconnect" from weed, it does something strange, at least for me. For me, every time I know smoke too much, I get intensely paranoid. It is one of the things that fueled my suspicions about "the game" that I was involved in playing. If you have never played this game, consider yourself lucky enough not to be considered important enough to be targeted.
The real "alcoholism" didn't start until I didn't feel comfortable enough to smoke weed anymore without drinking to make the paranoia go away. The larger the paranoia was, the more I had to drink to make it "tolerable". To give you an example, one of my best friends didn't like that I was "mmm okay"ing everything. I would just say "yup, yup, yup" when I was in this mode. It was a sign that I wasn't okay and that I felt some extreme kind of paranoia about the current situation I was in. I still to this day have that symptom. If I say things like "yup" or "not tonight" it is a sign that I am in a state of not being present. My body is doing the reflexes of being okay with the situation and trying to develop a way of telling you to fuck off without telling you to fuck off.
3) This break in the weed reliance system has been permanent for me. There is no going back to "just being high and happy". If I get too high, I am extremely paranoid about everything and everyone. I wish not to have extreme dreams where I wake up in a night terror sweat and wish not to go back to bed. I wish not to be in a state where I am afraid to go to bed.
I'll be honest here. I've been trying to reach out and get something more that I shouldn't be seeking. My honest opinion is that someone out there doesn't like this and wants me to stop. However, I am showing with my actions that I don't care. It is either this or me not being controllable. You decide which you want. If you want an ounce of control over me, you will let me get my wish. If you don't, then don't complain when I'm not controllable.
