Guys, don't trust this fellow, I was his cellmate in USP Lompoc. You may be thinking; "USP Lompoc? As in... United State Penitentiary Lompoc? As in... a federal prison? You fucking retard, there are no shared cells in federal prison you cock-sucking faggot! This post is clearly false information.", but I assure you, the so-called "fact" that federal prisons have no shared cells is a mere lie. In fact, the entire idea of solitary confinement was spread around by ice cream truck drivers in the 1950s who would tell each child who appeared to purchase a frozen treat, to tell there parents upon arriving home that solitary confinement is a totally real practice that U.S. prisons operate in order to protect inmates, then the entire world believed it! Kids are never reliable sources of information. Stoic Sigma was my cellmate and every single day he would wake me up by slowly pulling out one of my nose hairs and saying "Another one to give to the honorable Eugene McCarthy.", I googled the Eugene McCarthy and he was the Senator of Minnesota from 1971 to 1979. Why would he want my nose hairs? Every time I confronted my Stoic Sigma about it, he would deny it despite the fact I would see him to it. Every. Single. Morning. Anyway, don't trust this guy.
