Annual "What did you get for Christmas?" thread.

I saw my Commanders whip Pussydelphia last Sunday, thus giving the Sons of Washington a good chance at a playoff spot. All we need to do to secure that is beat the Falcons (spoiler alert - the Falcons will go down harder than @Likeicare at a gloryhole). Easy victory; on to the playoffs.

That's what I call a good Christmas. Thanks, Football Santa.
 
dont complain

AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T GET BUTT EELS
In July, doctors in Vietnam reported pulling out a two-foot (61-centimeter) eel from a man’s intestines after he inserted it into his butt—though not before the eel had started to chew through his guts.


The man visited an emergency room with severe abdominal pain. Once there, he told doctors that he willingly shoved an eel up his anus, though he declined to provide an exact reason why (as is often true with these cases, though, it was probably sex-related). He made his situation somehow even worse by also shoving a lemon up there, ostensibly to keep the eel where it was. The slithery passenger wasn’t cooperative, however. By the time the doctors operated on the man, the eel had reached his abdominal cavity by biting through the intestines. The man did survive his ill-advised experiment, though not without losing part of his colon.


Remarkably, this was actually the second case of butt eels reported from doctors in Vietnam this year, though the other case involved a shorter eel, measuring 12 inches (30.5 cm).
 
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