>be me
>18, awkward as hell
>insist i'm straight, even though i spend 90% of my time on 4chan and obscure internet forums
>mfw i unironically defend power rangers lore
>one day, mom asks me to clean my room
>groan internally, but comply because she threatened to throw out my limited edition kamen rider figure
>start sorting through my…stuff
>realize the sheer volume of kpop i own is…concerning
>it started innocently enough, a single bts album because 'dna' was catchy
>now? hundreds of albums. photocard binders thicker than the bible
>i have signed posters, lightsticks for groups i only vaguely know, and enough merch to fill a small warehouse
>my room legit looks like a shrine to various korean boy bands
>i even imported that weird milk carton phone case everyone had for 3 weeks
>start tallying the financial damage
>easily over 5 grand. just…gone. into kpop.
>try to rationalize it. 'it's an investment!' i tell myself. 'the photocards will be worth something someday!'
>but deep down, i know i'm lying
>begin organizing the photocards
>i have them sorted by group, then by member, then by era, then by…hair color?
>why do i even know their hair colors from 2018?
>stare at a photocard of jake (???) from enhypen
>he's…really…pretty?
>suddenly, a wave of realization washes over me
>it hits me harder than when i realized santa wasn't real
>oh. oh no.
>i'm not just a fan. i'm a… stan. a very… invested stan.
>and maybe…just maybe…i'm not as straight as i thought
>panic.
>delete my browser history (again)
>try to convince myself it's just 'appreciation of art'
>but then i find my collection of fanfiction i wrote… about… two members of stray kids… doing… laundry… together… affectionately
>facepalm so hard i see stars
>i'm doomed
>try to hide the evidence. shove everything under the bed
>too late. mom walks in.
>she surveys the room, a knowing smile on her face
>"so…you like kpop?" she asks, innocently
>i stammer, trying to deny everything
>"it"s… research! for a… sociology project! yeah, that"s it!"
>she raises an eyebrow
>"right... and all those posters of half-naked korean boys are for… scientific purposes?"
>defeated, i slump onto my bed, surrounded by my kpop hoard
>"i… i think i might be gay"
>mom just laughs and says, "honey... i knew this whole time..."
>wait, what?
>stare at my kpop collection. it stares back.
>maybe this isn't so bad?
>at least i have good taste in music…and…men?
>still awkward though. and still obsessed with tokusatsu. guess i'm just a gay, awkward, tokusatsu-loving kpop stan now
>the future is bright. and probably filled with more photocards.
A book apparently about returning to an abandoned town after the fukushima nuclear disaster and 2011 earthquake.
