Fine, my Super Bowl dog story goes here. <<<This actually happened. Not made up. Do not read anything more into this. Everything else is serendipity.>>>
Shadow is a dog that I've met before, but Shadow didn't really remember me. Shadow has high anxiety and is afraid of everyone. I tried to introduce myself to him. He was too excited. I got down on his level and he opened up to me. Lots of pets, lots of licks, lots of kisses. After a little bit, he wanted to kiss me more. The next time, he started to try to hump me and I didn't initially notice. Sexually frustrated dog. New best friend for a day. Now I have to reinforce boundaries. This sounds very familiar.
That was the story. The end.
Because of my experiences, I will call cats she because I ever single cat I've had has been female for some reason. All of the dogs that I seem to meet are boys, so I call dogs he. When it is another animal that I don't associate with anything else, I will call it Mr. because I'm a guy.
Really the end.
I can't help but think that you caused this...

That weirdo in the dog suit just opened a zoo where you can pretend to be a dog
We've covered this Japanese guy known as Toco a few times here at Not the Bee.

Somehow... someway... you are responsible.
Your leaky thoughts bled back through time and infected the past at a cultural level.
Atemporal cultural corrosion.