Why are carrots magically falling out of my buttcrack

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this is like something i would've written on yahoo answers when i was 9 or some shit
 
maybe itll help you to lose some weight, triple-chin.
Ive already been in good shape, retard.
this is like something i would've written on yahoo answers when i was 9 or some shit
Yeah, but you dont have to be insensitive about my awkward and horrible situation
 
It feels like im a wizard, but not in a good or comfortable way, not like harry potter, but james charles or jeffree faggot star being raped by voldemort from the inside via a spell
 
How is this happening
Maybe someone on the street gave me the curse, now all my boxers and pairs of black jeans have rape holes from the excessive carrots being shot from my asshole like a gun
 
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